Letting Go

Tonight I sit here typing and I am very sore, but it's a good sore. It's the evidence of a kick booty workout, which I got tonight rolling around on the mats. My kids and I trained tonight, we are what some call a "BJJ Family", a family that every member trains BJJ. My husband trains with Kyle Watson, and me and the kids train with JW Wright. So tonight the kids were training while I of course watched and waited for my turn to get on the mats. Last week, we ran into a bit of a problem because my sons, which we will call Mini-K and Mini-N, (for those of you who have seen them will understand, for those who haven't let's just say that me and the hubs have cloning down to a science!) would always look to me for approval of a move, or coaching of some kind. And as a mom who thoroughly loves her children and never wants to see them get into trouble I would gladly do it. Not all crazy like a t-ball parent trying to coach...

just a quick signal to pay more attention, or a shake of my head when they were doing a move wrong, or the dreaded mom-look to get them to quit messing around. But soon the inevitable happened, I overstepped my bounds and I got into trouble for it (well, sort of), they were constantly looking at me and not at JW who IS their teacher, so JW had to tell them to quit looking at me for coaching and gently remind all of us who the teacher was when my kids were on his mats. So tonight I remembered that when my kids were on his mats they were essentially well...his. His to teach, his to mold and his to correct if something went wrong.. so I let go. I let whatever happened happen. When they did things wrong and looked at me for correction I looked up at the ceiling, when they looked at me when something went right I kept a straight face, when they were messing around and not paying attention I let JW correct them, when Mini-K was on the verge of push-ups during sparring I kept silent...remembering they were JW's for that time.
Sometimes as parents we are so caught up in that whispered promise we make to them as we hold them for the first time, that we will make sure "nothing ever happens" to them that we forget what that entails... as Dory put it so well in Finding Nemo:

So tonight I let go and both my boys did wonderful! 

The Journey continues...

Natalie